Article last updated : 18/05/2010
What We Now Know About Australia
As Katie's Daisy relaxed with a new friend Down Under Katie's Dad was learning much about a country he was unsure about.
Here are some of his findings with apologies to all the lovely people he met who were so kind. Furthermore with every ex comedian and actor in the world having taken part in one travel programme or another surely its time for Katie's Dad to have a go!
Common all garden birds would have Bill Oddie amazed, it's a long way by plane!, Aussie Rules Football is just an aside to drinking and talking for three hours and Koalas and Kanagaroos are gorgeous.
Kristina Keneally the Premier of NSW is beautiful, possums are common and protected, pubs are virtually non existant and the Sydney Harbour Bridge looks like the one in Newcastle.
Australians have ruined our beautiful language by gratuitously adding O's and Y's to the end of words, such as "garbo" for rubbish and "kindy" for kindergarten.
Everyone seems to be out running, what's wrong with the bus, if we were there in their Autumn I would not like to be there in their Summer! You get asked asked "How are you today" by everyone but nobody cares about your response. "Good" is the word aparrently.
Despite the heat a lot of men wear shorts and thick woolly white socks, you cannot get a nice warm beer anywhere, no spiders are to be trusted, restaurants stop cooking a nine o'clock and their trains go really slow.
Their beaches are all amazing, especially the one where we watched Home and Away being filmed, you cannot get a proper black coffee anywhere, the lattes are luke warm but they do make a good cup of English tea.
Supermarkets cannot sell beer nor wine, kangaroo is on the menu in restuarants, Koala isn't, Dingos are bad news, (we did see one on Fraser Island), they don't like talking about the Ashes and Aussies do not watch Neighbours nor Home and Away.
Australian TV is rubbish, its ours ten years ago, thay call flip flops "thongs" - can lead to much confusion, it's a big country but most people live in one corner and a lot of woman end their sentences with "dull". I think they mean "darling" but they could be referring to me.
I would go back though just once I stop having nightmares about the 21 hour flight while sitting in seat designed for a three foot tall pencil!
One thing I do know, Katie would have loved the country, particularly the animals!